All Fat People Should Take Trilene Tablets
The only safe cure for stoutness No, I’m not being obnoxious. I’m illustrating the wonders of a well-targeted headline. You see, after a glass of wine or two, a couple of weeks ago, I found myself on...
View ArticleThere Are No Boring Industries – Only Boring Writers
“We could be just as crowded at Macy’s, and not get wet!” I’ve been researching female copywriters recently. Partly because I’m a female copywriter, and there aren’t enough of us, and partly because it...
View Article“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face”
Mike Tyson once said: “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” Of course, he was talking about boxing matches (presumably – he’s a complete fruit loop). But what he said is a variation...
View ArticleThe Viking Guide to Making Sales
The power of relentless follow-up I’m in a couple of mentoring groups (if you’re not in a mentoring group and you run your own business, you’re crazy by the way – it’s the best money I spend on my...
View ArticleHere’s Why You Never See Kiefer Sutherland Going For A Wee
I did a teleclass a little while ago on storytelling, for my Inner Circle. I talked about how to tell stories in your marketing, stories that will capture people’s attention, draw them in, and keep...
View ArticleTales From The Xerography Crypt
Yesterday, I was researching and writing about photocopiers. How they work, and who invented them. Like absolutely every seemingly mundane thing in the world, there are fascinating stories behind the...
View ArticleWhat if The Avengers ran your business?
Business owners: SMASH An email from a friend the other day got me thinking. He was talking about the big election last week, and how the Tories seem to have impressed enough people to get another shot...
View ArticleAre You Buying The Emperor’s New Clothes?
Don’t get taken for a (naked) ride If you’re ever tempted to use one of those ‘beautiful, professionally designed’ email templates graphic designers and other non-marketing-experts are banging on...
View ArticleHow To Use Obscure Insults To Sell More
Chinny reckON! I am a child of the 80s. That means I remember Pigeon Street, Thundercats, and The A-Team. I remember 10p mixes, and I remember when you could get 10 sweets for 10p. I remember shell...
View ArticleWhy You Should Talk To Strangers
(…and maybe even run with scissors) When’s the last time you did something that made you feel uncomfortable? Embarrassed? Wondering whether other people were laughing at you? I don’t mean anything...
View ArticleFail Harder!
“I never pay attention to anything by ‘experts.’ I calculate everything myself.” ~ Richard Feynman Knowledge is not the problem. Doing is the problem. For most business owners, at least. I’d be willing...
View ArticleHave You Had Ideas Sex Lately?
Think crazy. The crazier, the better… Remember when you were a child, and the days, weeks, months, and years stretched away endlessly in front of you? The only barrier was bedtime, and your only worry...
View ArticleThat Secret Urge To Punch Someone In The Face
We’ve all got it, that urge… Isn’t the internet amazing? Here I am, writing to you again, and you feel like you know me, right? You do, really. The me I write to you with is the real me. There’s no...
View ArticleAre YOU Using Boring Words?
Oh Captain, My Captain! I’m going to assume, right off the bat, that you’ve seen Dead Poets Society. If you haven’t, what the hell’s wrong with you? Go and watch it immediately. It’s one of those rare...
View ArticleWhy You Need To Listen To A Dying Man’s Words Of Business Wisdom
Business from a different perspective Yesterday afternoon, I attended Mike Seddon’s last webinar. Mike has cancer, and he has a few weeks left. I have no words for how much this sucks. But through it...
View ArticleHow BDSM Contact Lenses Can Help You Sell More
Pain and Pleasure… it’s a fine line Ever stuck a chilli finger in your eye? Or, um, anywhere else sensitive? No? Yes? Last night, we cooked something yummy for tea. It involved diced chilli, diced...
View ArticleWhy Running is Like Copywriting
And also like falling over Do you run? I run. I quite like running, eventually… but it’s a real struggle to drag myself out of the door and into the fields. Why? Because it takes my body at least a...
View ArticleWhat Morpheus Knows About Business
Watch The Matrix, run a better business… Morpheus was a wise man. He knew what was what. In his search for The One in The Matrix, he met many pretenders. Many people who thought they could be The One....
View Article18 Things That Feel Strangely Delightful And Deeply Satisfying
If it feels good, do it… Sensation is a marvellous thing, and everyone has something quirky that makes their eyes roll into their heads and smile dopily (and no, I’m not talking about sex here,...
View ArticleDazed and confused
I’m a member of The Institute of Direct and Digital Marketing and as part of my membership I receive the Journal of Direct, Data and Digital Marketing Practice. Now, I don’t know if you’re a member of,...
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